Happy New Year Everyone!

 

A Merry Christmas to One and All

Apart from the following (Updated for 2025), and the list gets longer every year. I hope your Christmases suck:
The Green party and their Tit Whisperer

The BBC

The TV licence

The 'News'

MOTs 

Two Tier Kier Starmer
The rest of the Labour Government
The nine million people who voted for them
Chris Whitty
BLM
The Socialist Worker
The Media
People who say, "The Government should do something"
TV Adverts with mixed race couples
ASH
Snowflakes
Disney
Alcohol Concern
The British Heart Foundation
CRUK
RSPCA
Smokefree various regions
Student unions
Balance North East
The Government (Including devolved Governments)
Local councils
HMRC
Woke celebrities
The NHS
Brake
Anti-racists
RNLI
E4
The BBC
Insulate Britain
The Guardian
Gary Neville
Black Lives Matter
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Men in women's sports
Those people who keep ringing me about that accident I never had
Facebook
Statue topplers
Adults who go outside in pyjamas
Gary Lineker
Anyone who's outraged
Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe
Tony Blair
All lefties and Progressives
Traffic cops
Boris Johnson
Anyone with equality or diversity (or both) in their job titles
Just stop oil
The terminally woke
Ngozi Fulani
Anyone who thinks dog poop is the most pressing issue of the year
Canada
Claudia Winkleman
Chavs
Social media influencers
Maghan and Harry
Channel migrants and their enablers
Celebrities in the jungle
The triggered
Celebrities not in the jungle
Anyone who thought COVID restrictions were a good idea
Mums against guns
World Health Organisation
Tesco basics bread
Wannabe gangstas
Lazy arse dole dossers and thier snot nosed kids
Greta Thunberg
People with pictures of their kids as their avatar
Sadiq Khan
The X Factor
Anyone who just won't let Brexit go
Matt Hancock
People who believe in Chemtrails and think Bill Gates can track you through the COVID vaccine
Bill Gates
Mask wearers
Conservatives who are socialists
Adults who wear onesies and drink from Tommee Tippee cups
Extinction Rebellion
Directors of Lived Experience
and many other prodnose, interfering, hateful or just plain annoying people.

Our Glorious NHS

 I'll just leave this here

 

ABS Crunches

So my MOT is due. There's one test on the MOT that encapsulates (is that a word?) how governments work. Particularly this current government

Someone invented a safety system called 'Antilock braking'

It was good, so car manufacturers started adding it to thier cars

The government saw it was good and decided to get involved. They said, if you have ABS brakes on your car, the system has to work correctly, so it's now part of the MOT

The MOT testers said, we can't check that without taking the car out onto a track?

Someone else invented the ABS sensor, which checks if the system is working, and provides a computer generated fault if it is not

 

Good job, trebles all round

 

Now cars are regularly failing their MOT because of an ABS fault. 999 times out of 1000, the fault is not with the system, but with the sensor, so the sensor has to be replaced

People who make the sensor, sell a lot of sensors, while everyone's ABS systems continue to work correctly

 

Intervention by the government caused a problem where none exists

 

Meanwhile, the lefties see the number of cars failling on an ABS fault, and tell us that the free market is not working, because private industry keeps making faulty ABS braking systems that are putting lives at risk 

Something should be done, etc...

Youth Unemployment

We took on a 'youth' this week at work

 

She worked one day

 

We're recruiting again

 

Yes I know, you can't judge all the 'youths' by the actions of one, just like you can't call all the Afgan migrants rapists, or demad reparations from all the white people for slavery they didn't do

 

Just sayin'

 

(Disclaimer. Now that I've turned fifty, I think it's appropriate to use the term 'youths' a lot more. Enjoy your weekend) 

I turn fifty tomorrow

 Fuck!