Phoooone Hoooome (Or just please go there)

Illegal aliens who can't phone home, can now stay in the UK

Migrant avoids deportation because he lost his phone

Have a think about what possible reason a judge could give for allowing an illegal to remain in the country, because they lost their phone. I got nothing

 

So let's take a look through the crazy window:

An illegal Iraqi migrant who fled his home country over his part in an alleged exam fraud has avoided deportation after claiming a people smuggler threw away his ID and phone.

The man fled Iraq after being threatened with arrest for the alleged fraud when he was caught on CCTV delivering test papers to an address a day before students were due to sit for the qualification.

He left Iraq because the local fuzz were after him. No fleeing war, or poverty, or persecution, but fleeing the Iraqi Old Bill, who were hot on his tail after he comitted a crime 

He claimed that an “agent” who facilitated his passage to the UK had not only thrown away his ID documents but also made him get rid of his phone, on which he had his family’s numbers.

Maybe there's a reason they do that? And maybe it's all working as planned? 

The Iraqi, who was granted anonymity, told an immigration tribunal that he could not remember the telephone numbers for his family, which meant he could not get their help to replace his lost ID card.

Not lost, thrown away. And how is any of this our problem?

Iraqis cannot safely return to their home country without such ID documents because of the risks of arrest and interrogation, as well as preventing them travelling cross-country through checkpoints.

If you enter Iraq without ID, you get arrested and interrogated? But you do so in England and they bloody let you stay 

Fearing that he would be framed for fraud, the Iraqi student sought shelter with a human rights group, Ashti, before fleeing to the UK.

Why the UK, I wonder? 

There are so many countries directly between Iraq and the UK, not counting all the other countries in other directions, that are closer than ours

Could it be we're the only ones likely to put up with his shit, fall for his sob story and give him a huge pile of cash for the inconvenience? 

He didn't come to England becuase he has family here. They're back home and he can't call them because his phone is in the sea, although I bet he quickly finds a way to contact them and bring them here once his assylum application is granted

He didn't flee Iraq because of war or persecution, but because he got involved in some shady stuff and was going to get in trouble 

Why are we even indulging this man with courts and judges? The only people he should be interacting with are cabin crew, wishing him a pleasant flight to Baghdad