Too old for this s£!t

So we came for a cheeky week away to relax, but so far we've drunk like a couple of sixteen year olds with fake IDs. I'm getting far to old for this shit

We got food in on Sunday night and I made a spag bol for tea so we could stay in and veg on the couch in front of the TV. By eleven o'clock, we had drunk all the beer in the fridge and decided to pop out for 'one'

We walked into the only local bar open in our area, and two of our friends who live here, were sat at the bar, so we joined them for a 'few'

The Boss kicked us all out at one in the morning and we got invited back to our friends for a 'couple more'

M and J are great people, but J has a tipping point when she drinks too much beer. Once over the point, she starts off on a long political tirade, usually about Muslims or something. She started on that after a bottle of rose wine, so Mike made the wise decision to give us a lift back to our apartment (Just for the record, he was as pissed as the rest of us, but it's a lot more relaxed about stuff like that round here

Mrs Bucko made us a brew when we got back to our apartment and apparently I found two leftover beers and insisted on having one while my brew was cooling. I'll have to take Mrs Buckos word for it, as my memory fades from after the journey home

I was rough as arseholes when we got up on Monday, but Mrs Bucko still dragged me kicking and screaming down to the beach. I managed an hour and twenty minutes sat on my towel on the pebbles reading a book, before I had to put my foot down and insist on a hair of the dog, which surprisingly enough, only got a cursory objection

After three pints in Little Dimitris bar, I almost felt human again

We decided on an early night, so for tea, we had a long walk to a posh restaurant. I decided to order a steak. It was a litlle more money than I would normally pay for food, or plane tickets, but it was the juciest, melt in the mouth steak ever, so well worth it

On the walk back, we stopped in Dirty Nellies for 'one'. Dirty Nellies is a wierd one. You order and pay for one cocktail, then they just keep bringing you random booze. We didn't really expect the free shots to be flowing at this time of year, and when we walked in, there was one other couple having cocktails and four Albanians having a pint

A waitress walked up to greet us and I announced that we didn't need a cocktail menu, just two Grasshoppers. She immediately pegged us for people who have been before and she was not tight with the freebies

So after that skinful, we set off home, but decided it would be rude not to pop in the local for 'one' on the way

That was a mistake, and for different reasons. There is a British girl who works the summers in Corfu and she always latches on to us when she sees us. As an easy going guy, it's very rare for me to actively dislike someone, but annoying girl actually makes my skin crawl

And she was there with annoying friend; a woman who like to put her paws all over everyone, which I really cannot stand. She has no sense of personal space and she was particularly pissed last night, so particularly annoying

Mrs Bucko has an annoying habit of indulging annoying people, so while she was doing that, I spotted a local at the bar called Tassos, so went to talk with him

Tassos is a local crazy man. He has quite a sad back story from when he was normal, but things happened and he crossed the bridge into crazy town, but he's alright as folk go

The Boss however, was not impressed. Aparently he is not allowed to talk to the tourists, so the Boss kept bollocking him while we were trying to have a conversation, which got annoying. I will ask for help if I want it, but don't like people assuming for me

Tassos was asking if I play and instrument and I mentioned the drums. He started tapping a rhythm on my shoulder and asked if I know it (Yes, he's crazy). Boss yelled at him in Greek accross the bar and Tassos told me he said he's not allowed to touch me

I gave him a cigar when I lit up and this prompted another tirade in Greek from Boss. Tassos told me he said he's not allowed to ask for smokes from me

Anyhoo, he finished his pint and went, and Julie was still talking to annoying girls, so I had to put my foot down at that point and insist we left (I think I've now used my allocated foot downs for this holiday)

So we managed to get to bed at half past midnight with a few beers inside us, but fortunately not enough to give me a fat head this morning

Mrs Bucko wants food, so I'll have to stop waffling for now and accompany her into town where we can forage

See ya