Friday Tunes - Cheese on Toast Without the Toast

It's going to be a busy one tonight

I'm trying to join a local rifle club and the rules and restrictions are pretty tough. It's almost like the Government doesn't want people to use guns or something. I'll be down there after work for a supervised shoot, so the club officials can verify that I'm not a whack job

After that, me and Mrs Bucko are off to join another club. This one is a snooker and pool club. Our local closed a while ago and it's since been difficult to find somewhere quiet to play pool at weekend
Mrs B plays for a couple of teams and likes to practise at weekend, so she's been getting withdrawals

With that in mind, tonight's selection is going to be a quick one of pure cheese. Squeezy cheese even

I'll start you off with what is possibly the worst video ever

If we're going for cheese, The Hoff needs a spot. Mrs Bucko put me onto this one when she was watching Knight Rider (The good one, not the new pap)

It's actually not bad that one. Does that make me sad?

I doubt Midge Ure reads this blog but if he does he won't any more. This track kept Vienna off the top spot. It would have been the first number one for Ultravox. Hi Midge

This particular cheese is popular in all the young pubs again. I thought of picking "Let's Get Married", but I just couldn't do it

This one is just pants. Nuff said, may as well skip it before they huff and puff and blow you away.

I can't count the number of times I've done this dance in public. I guess that makes me sad too. Or really cool

Quite clever this one. I don't think there are any instruments in it at all.

With all that going on I don't think I'd be happy. Livid would be more like it. Ah well, there's always David Bowie and Mick Jagger acting gay

And last up, a sweaty Olivia Neutron Bomb

Hope your evening is as good as mine. There again, I'm shooting guns and pool, so good luck with that

Peak Pointless

If we discover that society has raised a generation of idiots, surely the correct response is not to idiot proof the world, but to change the way we raise idiots?

So that maybe they are not?

The obvious example is the 'contains nuts' warning on a packet of peanuts. Quite frankly, anyone dying of a serious peanut allergy from eating a warningless packet of the very thing with the same very name that causes the allergy, deserves their Darwin Award.

The entire modern Health and Safety industry has grown up around the idea that we should protect idiots from themselves, but this latest 'invention' (term used loosely) takes the prize

The smart zebra crossing, created by tech firm Umbrellium in partnership with insurance company Direct Line, lights up with a warning when someone walks into the road in front of traffic.

Because we should invent expensive things to protect people who are more interested in what's on their mobile phone screen than the traffic they are walking into

Road safety charity Brake worker Jason Wakeford said: “This is a great example of how technology can help to improve road safety.”

And that statement is a great example of why the charity Brake are a bunch of blithering idiots

LEDs in the surface of the road create signals and road markings that can be altered.
Sensors in the road detect when people are at the crossing and even counts how many of them there are.
The crossing also gets wider when there are more people waiting at it allowing space for them to cross.

All very well, for sensible people who are waiting at kerbside to cross, but not much good for the bellend who blunders straight into traffic because someone liked a picture of their breakfast on Farcebook

Mr Haque told The Sun: “The pedestrian crossings we use every day are 50 or 60 years old.
“We’re trying to update it for the 21st Century with a crossing that deals with the fact that people are on mobile phones and might not be looking up.
The road is able to react in a fraction of a second allow drivers and pedestrians time to stop.

If the traffic bearing down on them won't get them to look away from their phone for a few seconds while they cross the road safely, I doubt a few pretty lights will

And all this is assuming everyone is actually going to use these crossings. Many people can't be bothered to walk to a crossing and end up getting injured crossing within view of one. Let's be honest, people who walk down the road with their heads in their phones are more likely to fall into that category

Thick as mince, why bother trying?

What if a child....?

I have a pet peeve and it cropped up again today.
especially by a young child
Whenever anything bad happens, why is it always worse if it happens to a child? Why do people always bleat about some made up danger that, 'could have happened to a child'.
What if a child saw it / did it / picked it up / fell in it / tripped on it / shot themselves in the back of the head with it?

Why are children's lives perceived to be more important that adults lives? Why are bad things always worse if the age of the victim is less than 18?

Could it be that children are simply better able to pull the heartstrings and make a newspaper article or TV news story that bit more appealing, or do we actually believe that the life of a child is worth more than the life of an adult?

Is the life of a child worth more? Let's take a look through the round window.

If an adult dies, what is lost?

An adult is likely to leave behind loved ones that depend on them; a wife / husband and a couple of kids maybe. A family unit that has been nurtured for possibly many years and will cease to exist in it's current form without the missing adult

A job. Yes the company can employ someone else, but depending on the type of job, a lot more can be lost than just the employee. Years of experience and in depth knowledge could disappear and take the next employee more years to accumulate
Possibly years of investment in training
A social network with other employees that will take time to recreate with a new member

Education. Not just the knowledge and training gained in employment, as described above, but also years of school, college and further education. A young adult will not have even had the time to put this to use. An older adult may have been putting this to use, only for the effects to be stalled or stopped until another adult steps in and takes up the void

All those things that never had the chance to be completed. That book or song that never got written, that house / shed / car that never got built / repaired / improved, that time saving device that never got invented or drug that never got developed. A million possible things left unfinished because of an untimely death

Dreams that were never fulfilled. Working until you're 65, only to get mauled by a Lynx and not be able to spend your last years in relatively comfortable retirement, finally getting some sweet time to enjoy yourself
Schemes, plans, dreams, all worked hard for and not seen through

Friends and colleagues whose lives have been made a little batter by interaction


There's a massive possible loss to a much wider society when an adult kicks the bucket. So what happens when a child falls down a well?

Are they not easily replaceable?

Just kidding of course. My point is, it's just as shitty when something happens to an adult. It gets right on my tits when people bleat on about stuff happening to kids. Adult lives matter too

Yeah, and a couple of adults

Vile little man

I can't stand Richard Murphy. The man makes my skin crawl. I despise him and everything he stands for

There are moments when I do wonder about those with whom I share the more proximate parts of our planet. The Times Red Box has reported this morning that:
According to a new YouGov poll for The Times, the proportion of people who think that Theresa May makes the best prime minister has gone up since last month.

Maybe there are reasons why someone, somewhere can think Theresa May is doing well. I am quite sure she does not share that opinion. But for 34% of the country to think that suggests a staggering collective inability to appraise reality. Or massive ignorance. And I am not being rude: I am expressing concern and I am suggesting there are questions to ask.

He really is an arrogant shit. When people disagree with his point of view, all it can be is a staggering collective inability to appraise reality. He provides ample examples of this arrogant self-assuredness every day. The man really is delusional

Questions like, who informs this opinion?

And how can it be so wrong?

And how can it be corrected?

Democracy requires an informed electorate. It’s not clear we have one and that is worrying.

Democracy requires an informed electorate. No it does not. Democracy requires the option to form your own opinion and make your own choice without interference. Granted, people who are free to make their own choices, sometimes make the wrong choice, but the freedom to do so is the pillar of democracy

The electorate can make up their own minds from the information that is available to them. They can get out there and do their homework or they can believe everything the Daily mail tells them; it's up to them. There's no rule in democracy that say the electorate need to be 'informed' and even if there was, who decides if this is the case?

Does Richard Murphy get to be the one who informs us all about the choice we are to make? Do he get to invalidate choices if he thinks they are not informed ones?

Mike M says:
November 10 2017 at 11:48 am
May is doing terribly, but surely any assessment of whether something is being done well or not is influenced by how highly you regard the alternative(s)?

Richard Murphy says:
November 10 2017 at 12:57 pm
The alternatives are at present within her own party, so Corbyn has no part in this

Next question?

I'm sure he would like to dismiss those parts of the electorate he thinks are 'mis-informed', just like he dismisses anyone else with an opinion that does not match his own

What a twat

The RSPCA can kiss my arse

RSPCA bosses have condemned those who carry out 'mindless attacks on innocent animals' after a cat was shot in Accrington.
Not for that

For this:

The RSPCA inspectorate is calling for [...] stricter laws on air guns.

I can't begin to describe my contempt for thugs who harm cats with airguns, although it's on a par with my contempt for people who call for inanimate objects to be restricted or banned because some idiot causes harm with it

Anyone caught deliberately using an airgun to injure an animal can face up to six months in prison and/or a £20,000 fine.
We don't need to law abiding to be restricted out of airgun ownership, we clearly already have the laws in place. Let's start by catching the idiots who do this and giving them the six months in prison and/or a £20,000 fine

In the unlikely even that the cops ever did happen to nab one of these thugs and make the arrest, the headline in the papers would be, "Cat shooting thug escapes jail".

Use the laws in place and punish the guilty. Stop blaming the rest of us and stop trying to take away our things

Smoking in your car

The anti-smokers will do pretty much anything to make it difficult for people who enjoy smoking, to do so. They've had us kicked out of all the pubs, restaurants, cafes, cinemas and off all public transport

They even tried to stop us smoking in our own cars, but all they could manage, for the moment, was to ban us from smoking in cars with children present

They are still working on making smoking in cars a safety issue so they can ban us all from doing it, kids or no kids, but they haven't quite pulled it off yet

The next best thing when they can't bring in a law, is to scare us into voluntarily doing it. Fortunately for those of us with a brain, this bollocks just won't wash:

This is why you should NEVER smoke in your car – and it could cost you £2,000

Oh this should be good, do tell

Smells, stains and burn marks can knock £2,000 off the price of your motor, according to experts.

Experts eh? I wonder how many people have a PHD in the effects of bacci smells in cars? Well I'm in my forties and I've never bought a car that's worth £2000, never mind one that could be depreciated in value by that much

Never-the-less, smells, stains and burn marks are not going to be appealing to prospective buyers. So:

Burn marks: I've never dropped a fag in the car and burned the upholstery. I think I probably speak for most smokers here too. Some people do it I'm sure, but if you're going to be that careless, tough shit

Smells: My car does smell a bit of fags because I always have a ciggy when I start driving. That smell does not last beyond a good cleaning though, which I also do often. Anyone who is planning to sell a car gives it a good clean before doing so, unless it's a total piece of shit

Stains: Seriously, stains? I though we were talking about smoking in the car, not pulling one off in it?

And that's if you can actually shift the car at all.
Carbuyer quizzed 6,000 buyers looking for a new ride and 87 per cent said they wouldn't sign on the dotted line for a car that'd been smoked in.

That's a car that's been smoked in, not a car that smells of smoke or has burns (or worse, stains). Probably because the Tobacco Control Industry have convinced enough people of the utterly ludicrous idea of third hand smoke

And it's the same if you look to trade it in to a dealer.
Price experts Cap HPI said the first thing a salesman will do when looking at a car sold by a smoker is to knock down the price of the part exchange.

If I was part-exing a car with a dealer (not likely), they wouldn't have a clue that I had ever smoked in it

If you've been smoking in your car all is not lost - although it isn't a case of just opening the windows and letting the car air out.

All is not lost!

Smoke gets ingrained in the upholstery meaning you may even need to replace the headlining of your car.

Actual fucking LOL! Notice how they picked on the most insanely difficult part of the upholstery to replace? At best, all you need is a bit of Fabreeze. Realistically, a good interior clean with the usual stuff you buy from the pound shop will be more than enough

And a special "bomb" might be needed to clean out the air con system.

Fuck off! Air con works using a refrigerant liquid in a closed system (in a nutshell)

It may be necessary to steam clean your seats, wipe the dash with antibacterial products and wet vacuum the carpets.
I'm sorry but I wasn't aware that tobacco smoke, from burning tobacco at a high temperature, contains bacterias that would necessitate anti-bacterial products. And I am right
And anyway, a good clean would usually involve cleaning the upholstery with some kind of shampoo and polishing the dash, so what of it?

This cleaning procedure can easily set you back £150 - but that's better than losing £2,000 when you sell it.

In a pigs eye! A normal cleaning procedure with pound shop products would set you back a fiver. And nobody would be any the wiser that you often sit in your car, light up a big cigar and express your delight at a plan coming together (without making stains)

"Bearing this in mind, it's far better to pull over and get out before you light up."

Kiss my lilly white, cigar smoking, car cleaning knowing, non children carrying, stain not making, big engined diesel driving arse!