First rant of 2011

Welcome to my first rant this year. Feel free to leave your first comment of 2011, it doesn't have to be about the post, it can be anything. Go nuts.

So the Christmas period is now done with, it's January 2nd and everything is back to normal. Hope you all had a good one, by the way.

I don't really "do" Christmas. I enjoy a bit of family time, a bit of good food and a relax, but I don't get enthusiastically involved in it all, so when I see this all over the shop at Christmas:

"Goodwill to all men"

it makes me think, why? Goodwill to all men? (I'm assuming "men" means mankind so women and children are in fact, included)

I don't mind a bit of goodwill for the family and my friends. I've a bit of goodwill for my readers to, but goodwill for,

Chris Williamson who wants to take away my gun licence?
Andrew Lansey who wants to take away my fags?

How about goodwill for Ed Vaizey who wants to take away my porn, or Harriet Harman who wants to go even further and take away my penis?

Goodwill to our local county council who want to increase our council tax to pay for more gritters?

Or goodwill for all those hard workers at HMRC who want to take sixty percent of my wages to distribute to the needy?

The needy. That's another Christmas concern. We must look after the needy at Christmas. Well either the needy are spending my goodwill on fake tits, or the NSPCC, the RSPCA, Save the Children, Save the Donkeys, Save the Tigers, Save the penguins Save the deaf kids or Barnardos are bombarding me with "heart breaking" adverts explaining why I should extend my goodwill to two pounds a month for each and every one of them.

I'm sorry but bollocks to that. I'm well aware that somewhere in the world, something bad might be happening. Me paying your self serving and righteous directors wages will not help that.

Here's another one:

"'Tis the season to be jolly"

Why is it the season to be jolly? Why should my emotional state be altered at this time of year?

12 more months have gone by. I'm another year older, my grey patch is a bit bigger and so is my belly.
The price of fuel and food has gone up yet my wage remains the same.
My car is ever closer to getting scrapped yet the cost of running it continues to soar.

The weather is extremely cold, probably due to global warming. The pavements are covered in ice and the papers are moaning that the council are not Gods and cannot regulate the weather. My bins have not been emptied in weeks.

I am forced to spend a huge amount of money on crap to give to other people and they continue to spend their hard earned on crap that I don't want. I've not been able to buy any of the things I want for the past three months in case someone gets me the same for Christmas. No body did, so now I have to go out and buy those things myself.

But that's ok. Cheer up, it's Christmas.

Well it's all done with now for another year. I'll be back in work on Thursday, doing the same old thing as I always do, with the same old people, achieving the same old results and putting up with the same old crap.

I'll go home from work and eat the same old food for tea and watch the same old bollocks on the telly.

I'll go to the same old pub at the weekend and stand outside smoking the same old cigars while being told I can't take the same old pint of beer off the premises.

I'll get the same old wage at the end of the month. The Government will take the same old cut and give it to the same old feckless scroungers.

Here's what I want for 2011:

First off, a repeal of the smoking ban. Not just a compromise, I want it scrapped completely and property rights given back to the landlords. As Leg-Iron has said on many occasion, the anti-smokers had no room for compromise and now I don't either. If smoke free pubs are really a worthwhile business venture, many of them will remain after the ban has been lifted and all these antis who want to continue wearing the same clothes they wore out on the piss last night will still have somewhere to go.

Second, a new car. A 1990s Vauxhall Frontera or a Jag XJS, I can't decide. I need something soon though, I'm sick of being without a car and having to drive Mrs Bucko's. It's only been a few months but she's very territorial about her wheels.

Thirdly a return to liberty. No more CCTV, control orders, airport scanners, Stop and search, ANPR cameras etc.
No more bin fines, fag fines, seatbelt fines, helmet fines etc.
A thorough scrapping of all jobsworths, inspectors, PCSOs and anyone with diversity or inclusion in their job title.
No more persecution of smokers fat folk or drinkers.
And all the other things that I have missed, of which there are very many.

Fourth. Self employment. I need to start working for myself rather than others and maybe keeping a bit more of it for myself with the help of some inventive book-keeping.

And - no more benefits for scroungers, no more foreign aid, no more spending on climate change and green energy, no more political correctness, no more stupid health and safety, no more freebies for immigrants and absolutely no more Islamification of Britain.

I'm going to do a big list and tick them all off throughout the year. I'm betting that, apart from the car, none of it will have happened. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the list has got much bigger by this time next year.

Heres to a crappy new year!