As millions of decent families face benefits cuts, one woman who's never worked in her life is investing hers... in a £4,500 boob job
Most families who are due to lose their child benefit are worrying about how they'll make ends meet without it.
But for Kelly Marshall, who has five children by four different fathers, the handout has never been about paying for nappies, food and other everyday expenses.
She saved her benefit money to help pay for breast enhancement.
She explained: 'I have wanted a boob job since I was a teen. But it wasn't until I had five children that I could afford it - with all the extra benefits I get. Now I hope to have liposuction, a tummy tuck and regular Botox.
'I know most people will think it is wrong I am spending taxpayers' money on my looks. But I deserve it because I am a good mum. Having children has taken its toll on my body. All mums should be able to have cosmetic surgery.
'I don't care that it is at the taxpayers' cost,' she told Closer magazine. 'I am just proud of my looks and family - and it's my decision what the money is spent on.'
'But I don't think me or my children should miss out on nice things just because I have never worked.'
Miss Marshall said: 'They only have three laptops between them so I might have to buy another one soon because they don't like sharing.'
at the detached house that she shares with Lewis, 16, twins Mia and Kallie, 11, Nio, ten, and three-year-old Lenni, Miss Marshall has furnished each of the four bedrooms with a flat-screen TV and keeps a separate wardrobe just for her jeans.I'm not even going to try to comment on this stupid cow and her "fuck you" attitude. I wouldn't even know where to begin, and besides the 735 people who commented on the article have probably said enough about this hideous waste of oxygen and her five kids who are undoubtedly going to grow up exactly the same.
She also says she has a penchant for designer labels, which is shared by her daughters, who 'love Armani'.
I will say this though. I'm not fucking paying for this any longer. Not without a fight.
I've just mailed the following letter to HMRC:
Dear Sirs
Having just read another example of how the welfare state is paying the terminally unemployed to live a lifestyle that I could never aspire to, I have decided that I am no longer willing the pay the amount of income tax as demanded by HMRC.
I am currently paying an amount of £---.-- per month. Data taken from The Institute Of Financial Studies, Green Budget shows the areas where income tax is currently spent and I have calculated that as a percentage of my personal income tax burden:*
Area of expenditure Amount % of total My monthly
in billions contribution
Social Security & Tax Credits £136.60 37.23 £--.--
Health £81.50 22.21 £--.--
Education £63.30 17.25 £--.--
Police & Public Order £28.70 7.82 £--.--
Defence £28.20 7.69 £--.--
Government Debt £24.50 6.68 £--.--
Overseas Aid £4.10 1.12 £--.--
I will require my monthly income tax to be reduced to reflect the following:
Social Security and Tax Credits £0
As stated above, I am no longer willing to pay for lavish lifestyles of those who do not want to work. I have already paid into the system, more than enough to cover a token amount to tide me over in the unlikely event that I am ever unemployed. Being childless, a token amount is all I could ever expect to receive anyway.
Health £7.42
I pay into a comprehensive private health plan and have no children. Therefore, apart from the rare visit to a local GP, I do not use the NHS. Twenty five percent of my current contributions will be more than enough to cover GP services and the possibility of having to use A&E services at some point in the future.
Education £0
As We do not, and never will have children, we have no need for the education system.
Police and Public Order £10.45
As it is not possible to contract out to a similar security service at a similar price, I am happy to continue paying 100% of my current contribution.
Defence £7.71
I am happy to contribute to a strong national defence, however, as we are currently engaged in two illegal wars of which I want nothing to do with, I believe 75% of my current contribution is more than enough. I would be willing to increase this back to 100% when the British Army becomes a defence force.
Government Debt £0
As I have played no part in accruing this debt, I want no part in paying it. If it can be shown that the Government has been forced to borrow money to pay for something which I have used / consumed then I will look at this again.
Overseas Aid £0
Any overseas aid I wish to give can be done through the many charities. I do not wish for the Government to decide where my aid money goes. Particularly considering they have just given a huge tranche to a country with a space and nuclear weapons program than runs into billions of dollars.
I do not currently have satellite television. I’m sure you understand that if Sky TV sent me a bill for their services, I would return it unpaid. As the Government has nothing to offer that I want, I am taking the same action and refusing to pay anything apart from those items detailed above.
This amounts to 19.14% of my current contribution. Therefore, I require you to change my tax code to 1171L to reflect my new contributions. (If my calculations are correct).
I understand this may take some time to complete, however, if I receive my new tax code within the next 30 days, I will not ask for it to be backdated.
I eagerly await your reply.
Yours &c
Bucko
I'm probably starting a fight that I can't win but I'm going to do it anyway. I'm well pissed off.
I'll let you know what happens.
*appologies for the bad formatting. That bit of the letter was an Excel spreadsheet that didn't copy and paste well.
When I ran the spellchecker on this post, all the stupid cow's kid's names came up in yellow. FFS!
21 Comments:
When I came across the story, I just threw up my hands in despair at her circular logic - 'Now I've had 5 kids I can afford the plastic surgery I need to get rid of the effects of 5 pregnancies' - and had another cup of coffee.
Full marks to you for actually doing something about it, and all the best with your campaign!
Good luck with the revenue.
Can you hyperlink the place you got your calculations on where the tax is spent from, and how you worked out your tax code? If so I'll run it on my blog with your letter (in template form so people can put their own text in).
I suggest others do the same, if HMRC get loads of similar letters, each customised to their own beliefs, it will be harder to ignore.
It's a hell of a chat-up line - "Hey, Handsome, I need to get pregnant so I can afford another boob job".
Should get interesting as I have no contract with them and they none with me at least none I have ever signed!
FE - Thank's, I'll need it. Chances are, all I'm doing is inviting is a visit from the jackboots to do a full lifestyle audit.
Timdog - I just Googles for the info and it was off the Money Saving Expert website.
As for the tax code, I just worked out the percentages on a peice of paper. I didn't forsee anyone else wanting this info.
When I've got some time this evening I will dig out a link for the info I used and try to come up with a proper formula for working out the tax code. I'll let you know.
Good luck with HMRC
Bucko, calm down man. Yes, it's shocking. Yes, it's awful. But it's a bit Daily Express ain't it? A bit "reality tv". A bit someone twisting the knife in while pressing the right buttons? It's a bit too good a story to be true? Do we know it's really really true, or was she put up to saying that by, oh, some honest journalist? I don't know. But try not to get baited by this shit: you are worthy of much better subjects and posts than this. Just saying :)
This is how I worked out the new tax code. It's a bit crude and long winded but should do the job. The pitiful figures are my own, replace them with yours:
Tax code 647L. Means earnings before tax of £6470. Gross wage = £14496. Gross minus non taxable = £8026 taxable pay. Tax paid in year = £1603.2 which works out at 19.97% of taxable income.
I have calculated that I am willing to pay £311.02 tax for the year. If I pay 19.97% of my taxable income then what is £311.02 19.97% of?
311.02 devided by 19.97 times 100 = 1558.
Therefore, I want my taxable income to equal 1558. Deduct this from gross of 14496 and you get 12938 non taxable income.
To get the code, remove the last digit and replace with the letter in your current code. 1293L
I would be willing to calculate this for anyone who is interested.
You may notice I got mine wrong in my letter. F%$k
I'm sorry but I've had enough.
*Having said that, I've no interest in random electrical gadgets, flat screen tellys and certainly not kids weather I could afford them or not. I just dont want to buy them for other people.
"...There may be all sorts of reasons why they have that number of children."
How about asking why most of us don't have eight or nine children.
As you would fully and rightly expect, you have my support 100%.
Be prepared to get a letter full of bollocks back. And/or threats.
CR.
Cheers.
Nice one Timdog. Old who?
(Just kidding)
If there's one thing these lazy cunts are good at, it's sniffing out opportunities for financial gain without leaving the sofa. She probably sends the kids for the magazines, too.
I hope the country goes completely and utterly bankrupt and there are severe food shortages. I've got my cupboards stocked with 90 days' worth. It'd be a nice, natural way to wipe the lazy fuckers right out.
That fucking Closer magazine? What an ultimate bag of chav shite. One of the reasons I love Mrs Bucko is that she's never been into celeb pap.
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