More of the 89 Signs

In the last post (see below) we fisked a few of the 'The 89 signs you’re actually a massive Tory', as described by Diyora Shadijanova in The Tab

Let's take a look at a few more

11. Never being around to attend plans, because you're always away on holiday
Eh? Attend plans? I assume she means that when she wants to plan something, you decline because you're going away? Maybe people decline because they simply don't want to spend the evening down a left wing student bar with a group of empty headed socialist girls?

12. Not being afraid to wear garish socks
There's a difference between being a twat and being a Tory. Twats in bad socks come from all walks of life, but in my experience, 'Garish', usually applies to modern feminists who would rip your balls off for calling them a Tory

13. Having a bolthole in London, which will become your flat after graduating

Toff thing again. If you've such a flat, you've likely got rich parents. That doesn't apply to most Conservatives

14. Finding it baffling when people spend Christmas in pyjamas
WTF? I find it baffling when people spend waking moments in pyjamas. Unless it's Sunday morning. But seriously, the worst offenders for pyjama wearing are the benefits brigade. They go down the Tesco in pyjamas. Bloody freaks

15. Not going to your local uni gym, but a David Lloyd or Nuffield Health
Most people who go to gyms opt for the, 'pay a monthly fee and never turn up', option, but if you are seriously in to that stuff, would you want to go to the smelly, crowded and ill equipped campus gym, or opt for something a bit nicer. If you've got a hobby, you may as well do it right

16. Running half a marathon for charity

What on earth is wrong with that? Is it because you couldn't go the whole way and complete a full marathon? I wonder if she can? And I wonder if she is just jealous of others who can?
Maybe it's not about that though? As a socialist, maybe she thinks that all charity should come from the Government and be paid for by taxes? Socialists do seem to have an issue with people helping themselves and others, without the need for Government

17. Volunteering in “Africa” (never specifying the country) and having the photos to prove it
Seriously? Surely that's got to be the sole domain of socialist feminists?

18. Having a double-barrel name
There was a time I might have agreed, but these days, double barrel names, particularly first names, are chav names

19. Calling your parents “mummy” or “daddy” still
Toffs. Toffs do that, not Tories. And Americans. It is a bit cringeworthy though

20. Having private health care and health insurance
Because we all must pay homage to the great God of NHS. If I could afford private healthcare, I would have it. I don't envy anyone with a serious illness who has to go through the NHS

21. Saying “there’s just not enough resource at the moment” when talking about immigration

I don't even think I know what that means. Companies tend to talk about employees in terms of resource, so maybe it's just a management speak thing she dislikes
Or maybe she hates immigration?

22. Having good teeth
Really? Only Tories look after their teeth? Then call me a Tory

23. Knowing how to make a really, really good Chilli Con Carne

Either this whole thing is one big piss take, or we're stepping into the realms of mental delusion here

24. Refusing to drink cheap wine like Echo Falls or anything below a fiver
Echo Falls tastes like piss

25. Not “understanding” why everyone likes Lidl so much

Lidl tastes like piss

26. Going to John Lewis for any home basics
You know what? I'm going to give her that one

27. Thinking IKEA is overrated

28. Having an Aga in your family home

This is mine. Just finished refurbing it. It's not quite an aga, but it's bloody toastie in winter

29. Telling people you’re “not sure” what your dad does, or are extremely vague when people ask

I've said that all my life. Some kind of Aerospace Electrician and he voted Labour until 1998

30. Owning a coat with a huge, oversized fur hood
That's my wife, Mrs Bucko. She doesn't vote for anyone, as they're all a 'shower of shit'. Quote / Unquote

That'll do for today I think, there's plenty more where they came from
See you in the next instalment