Coffin' dodgin'

Residents concern as coffin appears on quayside

You'll see that a coffin hasn't actually 'appeared' randomly at a quayside.

WATERFRONT: Town residents have voiced their concerns after a coffin appeared in a hearse parked on the quayside.

It was in a hearse parked at the quayside. It doesn't even have a body in it.

The vintage vehicle, which belong to tattoo company Diablo Ink, has been a common sight on the Waterfront for more than a year, however in recent weeks residents have noticed that a new hearse had parked up with a coffin on board.

It's just an advertising gimmick. A friend of mine who I haven't seen in a long time* did a similar thing. He owned a piercing studio that he used to advertise on a hearse. As it's popularity started to take off he began a chauffeur service taking people of a more Gothic persuasion to proms and weddings. He offered the service completely free and it did wonders to boost his business.

He also got his name in the local newspaper, but for good reasons, not because some yellow bellied pansies were offended by it.

Elizabeth Green, 22, of Ipswich, said she thought the coffin was out of taste.
“I think it is awful,” she said. “If my children turn around and ask me what it is – they will be scared if I say it is a coffin.
“I just think it is disturbing.”

If your kids will be frightened about that, I hope you kept them well away from the pound shops over Halloween.

How your kids are going to cope when they grow up and enter real life is beyond me. In fact it escapes me how you do, running to the newspapers just because you've seen a coffin. Someone needs to grow a pair methinks.

Temporary Sergeant Nick Rush from Ipswich Central Safer Neighbourhood Team said: “We have not received any complaints about this issue but we are aware of it.
“The vehicle is parked away from residential properties but if any members of the public have any concerns then please call Ipswich Central SNT on 101.”

No complaints eh? I bet you're just dying for the first one to come in so you can go and bully someone new rather than having to do any proper police work.


*I sold him a car. Didn't see much of him after that. Hmm...