Hide the Baseball Bat. Remember to Hide The Baseball Bat.

I've recently applied for a shotgun licence. The Captain put me up to it. It seems like a good idea because I have been clay pigeon shooting in the past and wouldn't mind getting back in to it. It's also a good idea because if the shit ever really hits the fan in some kind of economic meltdown, revolution or zombie holocaust, well , you get the idea....

Apart from the fifty quid fee and having to get the application signed by the Pope or equivalent, I had to have an interview by a firearms officer.

I went to a wedding on Thursday so I booked Friday off work so I could have a hangover. (I was writing a blog about the wedding but it sounded that boring when I read it back that I didn't publish it). As shitty fate would have it, the firearms officer rand me up and said he wants to come round Friday morning. I though of making excuses and putting it off but in the end I just agreed. I had to limit the pints of Black Sheep though. I didn't want to stink of booze.

Anyway, I got up Friday morning, had a bath, sprayed the pits, removed all the anti government books from the shelf and hid all the pirate DVDs.

He asked me some questions about my knowledge of guns and gun safety, then he said,

"I notice you have a baseball bat behind the door. Are you in any trouble?"

I did a Gordon.

Remember to hide the baseball bat! Always remember to hide the bat!

He was quite happy though. He didn't hold it against me. What was surprising was my "criminal" history that he knew about. I put on my application that I had no criminal record, so I was quite surprised to find that I did.

I once failed a breath test, got arrested and taken to the cop shop, cleared and released. That is on my record.
I also got arrested, in my younger years, on "suspicion" of assault. Not convicted or even charged. Only suspicion. That was on there too.

That won't affect my application but it's still worrying. What if I were in the wrong place at the wrong time and got arrested on suspicion of assault again? Would the cops begin to think that I was some kind of nutter but they just hadn't caught me yet?

What about people who have been arrested on suspicion of rape? I'm thinking that a totally innocent person who had once been suspected, incorrectly, of a serious crime would probably get a knock on the door if something similar happened in their area. The copper had no details of the incident in question, only the knowledge that I had once been suspected. Would that mean to him that I was innocent or that they couldn't find enough evidence to charge me?

I've had two CRB checks in the past for my licence to sell alcohol and these two points never came up on either of them. This is the first time I realised just how much info the cops keep on you.

Sorry if I've rambled. The Guinness is going down well tonight. Have a good evening.