Snooze Fest

Just flicking through something in The Guardian about insomnia, that I spotted over at Timmys. I'm a light sleeper, but I've never had anything close to insomnia and only have trouble getting enough sleep if I go to bed too late or if Mrs Bucko is working shifts and goes to bed at three o'clock in the bastarding morning making a noise like a heard of elephants. Or the cat wants to bat my nose

I only looked at it, because I thought it might contain some interesting information, but of course that is a long shot in the Gaurdian. It was actually what you would expect, a long whine

After giving birth to her son, novelist Lara Williams feared she might never sleep again. So she turned to CBT-i, a radical and gruelling new therapy that rewired her relationship to sleep

It seems she has written a couple of books, but nothing I've heard of. Being a hugely successful novelist and writer for a left wing whine fest newspaper, will mean she has the money to spend on fad new therapies when she can't be bothered with the normal stuff

My struggles with insomnia began in my teens. I remember earnestly, pathetically, telling an old history teacher: “If I am yawning, it is not because I am bored, it is because I can barely sleep.”

“Have you tried a warm bath?” she offered, in what was to be my first instance of well-intentioned but ultimately completely useless advice.

If you want to be left wing, you have to be interesting, and if you want to be left wing interesting, you have to have 'struggles'

But we'll come back to the words in bold later on

My maternity leave was coming to an end, I was due back at work, but I felt more exhausted, less capable, than I’d ever felt.

The joys of having a baby

As one does in moments of strife, I took to Reddit.

As one does. I usually take to Jack Daniels (It also helps with sleep)

Anyhoo, long story short, Reddit pointed her in the direction of the fad sleep threapy thing, she bought it and it worked. So what radical solutions did it offer to the problem of sleepless nights, I hear you ask

You shouldn’t eat or drink caffeine, or doom-scroll through your phone, two to three hours before going to bed. You should lower the lights in the evening. Your bed should only be used for sleeping and sex, not for watching YouTube or staring at spreadsheets

Have you tried a warm bath?

Seriously, the therapy course is list of all the things she will have been offered in the past, as "well-intentioned but ultimately completely useless advice"

Yet as soon as it's packaged as an expensive therapy course for middle class twats, it suddenly works

I may be in the wrong job