The Moose: We're gonna need a tinier violin

Apparently we're in the midst of a cost of living crisis and the economy appears to be hitting the fan. It seemed inevitable when we were paying people to stay at home for moths to avoid spreading a cold, that it would come back and bite us on the arse, but fortunately for our illustrious leaders, some shit went down in the Ukraine that we can blame it all on

Complaining about the ineptitude of the Government isn't going to stem the tide of rising prices and inflation though, we're all going to have to tighten our belts a bit, cut back where we can and weather the storm

Unless of course we are whinging scroungers living off the taxpayers teat, whose idea of saving for a rainy day is getting up the duff again, so the Welfare will send a bigger cheque

I can’t afford to heat a pizza for my son – this is the reality of Britain’s cost of living crisis

This article in the Guardian, is so bad, I'm actually going to recommend you go and find something better to do for the next five minutes, rather than read my post about it

Still here? Ok, prepare for a mis-mash of illogic, denial, downright bullshit and whinging of the highest order (Or just another day at the office, for the Guardian)

My son sat on the stairs of our home crying on Monday, and for once I had no more words.

If only that were the case, but unfortunately she found plenty of words to fill an essay of total drivvle

I could not justify my decision to not cook his tiny, budget pizza [...] I didn’t feel able to cook it because it would cost too much to turn the oven on for this one small thing.

I must be wrong, but it seems she's telling us her idiot spawn was crying because she force-fed him a raw (tiny, budget) pizza. And she's trying to get sympathy for that

I can only assume she bought the tiny budget pizza before the cost of living crisis kicked in. If she knew she couldn't afford to cook it at the time, she'd surely have bought him something that can be eaten cold, like a tiny budget sandwich

My 12-year-old son has additional needs and significant sensory processing issues. He has not been in school for almost five months and I am his full-time, unpaid carer.

He's your kid. You don't get paid for looking after your own children. Maybe if you'd brought him up with a bit of discipline, he wouldn't have all those made up disorders and he could be in school while you're earning some money, perish the thought

If he was in school, at least they would be cooking his tiny budget school dinners

I am currently claiming universal credit

No shit? You do surprise me

We watch in disbelief as the government continues to fail to support families like mine...

You're on universal credit and don't work. Everything you have is paid for by the Government and you don't call that support? I yearn for the day the Government will start to support the hard pressed taxpayer, by letting them keep some more of what they earn

as we are told by politicians that food-bank users just need to learn how to cook...

Shove it in the tiny budget oven on gas mark 7, until the tiny budget cheese bubbles

or those in working poverty just need to get better-paid jobs.

Any job, would be a start

How dare they gloss over rising food-bank use as if it’s normal in one of the richest countries in the world. How dare those in power tell us how to spend the appallingly low budgets we receive on social security

My son cried more than once last winter because he was cold

We didn't have a cost of living crisis last winter. Maybe you're just a bad mother?

My son’s response about the tiny pizza was tears and rage at the inequality of it all. As staff at energy companies receive millions in bonuses, we can’t afford to heat a budget pizza. When I said to him that that this is why we need to speak out and help people, he told me through his rage: “I can’t help the people mummy, I am the people.”

Maybe instead of fostering jealousy in your son of non-existent staff getting non-existent million pound bonuses, you could explain to him the decisions you made that put you both in the tiny budget situation you currently find yourselves in?

And if you think I believe he said that stuff about being the people, you're having a larf