This is the way the world ends...

When I turned thirty, I used to tell people I was twenty nine. When I got caught out by people who knew me, I just told them I had changed my age by Deed Poll. I managed to get away with being twenty nine for quite a few years

Of course back then, it was a joke, not a mental illness

Man, 69, who identifies as 20 years younger begins legal battle to change age

The Liberal Left decided it would be a good idea to allow some folk to self identify as a different gender. That wasn't a joke. That was quite serious and anyone who spoke out about it was liable to be shouted down by a very angry Twitter mob. As the madness increased, it became more and more likely that a Twitter mob would be the least of your concerns if you stated publicly that there are only two genders; arrest and possible conviction for a hate crime became a risk

Eventually we were allowing men into women only areas, including bathrooms and prisons

Now the metal illness around gender identity has morphed into self identifying not only as a different gender, but a different race. If you want to be black, be black. If you want to be an American Indian, be one. If you are a white man who wants to identify as a black man so you can claim a chunk of taxpayers money that was supposed to go to black folk, fill yer boots

And today we take a step even further into the loony bin

A 69-year-old pensioner who says he has the body of a 45-year-old is taking action to legally change his age to improve his job prospects and luck with women on Tinder.

I want to say 'unbelievable', but it's not. This is actually the road we are on

He argues if transgender people are legally allowed to change their sex then he should be allowed to change his age. Mr Ratelband told De Telegraaf: "You can change your name. You can change your gender. Why not your age? Nowhere are you so discriminated against as with your age."

He has a point. Once we opened the door and let the crazy in, there was never any reason why we shouldn't go full crazy

The case has gone to a court in Arnhmen, Gelderland, where it is expected to give a ruling within four weeks.

It should have been instantly thrown out, along with all the other self-identifying bollocks

We are in this position because nobody is willing to say no to the snowflakes who demand all this crap. And I've no idea why

If they're not trying to eradicate masculinity from society, they're trying to eradicate humour. All jokes are offensive and if you tell one, you must resign from your job. Worse, if you make your humour a little more dark and burn a cardboard box, you must be arrested and your house searched, so the Stazi can find something to charge you with

Even product names that have been around for donkeys years are now offensive to the snowflake generation. Why would a large company like Kimberly Klark, change the name of their Mansize tissues because some bellend on Twitter got upset about it? Why do all manner of companies, small and large, capitulate to these idiots with regular monotony?

Nintendo to remove Native American references in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Why? Because a snowflake got offended on Twitter

One of the character's moves references Fire Attack, a 1982 cowboy game where you defended a wooden fort from screaming Native Americans who wielded burning torches and wore feathers in their hair.

So what? Didn't cowboys and Indians used to have a bit of a feud going on? Why is a company the size of Nintendo incapable of telling a few millennials to fuck off?

a Nintendo spokesperson told Eurogamer today. "The original game on which this depiction of the character is based was released more than three decades ago and does not represent our company values today.

Apart from the capitulation, there are two other things wrong with that statement. The first being the admission that Nintendo do find this to be racist. The second being the reasoning that it no longer fits with the company values.

So three decades ago, Nintendo was happily racist, but are so no longer? That's what it says. They would have been better saying that it wasn't racist then, it isn't racist now, Nintendo are not racist and go fuck yourself

Nintendo previously edited Fire Attack when it was re-released on Game Boy as part of compilation title Game and Watch Gallery 4. Then, the feather was removed from the Native American characters' hair - something Nintendo will now also do with Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

The feather. It's not even the character itself, it's a feather

Offensive feather

I was never into the Mario franchise, so correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't the whole thing based on an overly stereotypical depiction of Italians?

It's only offensive if you offend the left. They don't like it up 'em

It seems all might not be lost though. It's possible help is on the way

NASA asteroid WARNING: Three giant asteroids to pass Earth THIS SATURDAY

They will 'pass' a few hundred thousand kilometres from the Earth, which in galactic distances, is close enough to reach out and touch

You never know, we might get lucky. On Saturday we have three chances to put a stop to the lunacy that is the human race and give the lizards another chance

I for one, welcome our new lizard overlords