Self Inflated Cock

Report just in from the Outrage Bus:

Poundland Blackburn sells inflatable willies and plastic breasts
A BLACKBURN dad of three has spoken out against discount retail store Poundland over the selling of inflatable willies and plastic breasts as part of its hen party range.

I can't stand hen parties. They're loud and they're crude and the fat ugly birds who I'm quite frankly amazed managed to get someone to marry them, seem to be totally intent on spoiling a good night out for everyone else they come in contact with. Drinking pints, downing shots and SCREAMING at the top of their lungs every few seconds. I would think their parents would be disappointed at such a display, yet the mums are usually along for the ride and determined to prove they can make just as much of a dick of themselves as the younger generation

But just because it's not my bag, you won't find me supporting the local attention seeker in the papers telling us all how outraged he is that a high street store has novelty blow up willies for sale

Luke Carter was left flabbergasted when he came face to face with a range of 'inappropriate' accessories following a visit to the store in The Mall in Blackburn.

Flabbergasted. I know the media like an emotive word here and there to set the scene of the indignant being indignified, but flabbergasted is not a word you hear often

Mr Carter, from Blackburn, said: "I went to the new Poundland in Blackburn and they’ve got penises on headbands, inflatable willies and plastic breasts on display.

Penises on headbands? Let's face it, you'd have to be a bit of a dickhead to wear one of those

So I suppose Poundland will now be tripping over themselves to withdraw their cocks (ahem...) and issue a grovelling apology?

He complained to Poundland but bosses say the range is 'tongue-in-cheek' and won't be pulled from shelves. A spokesman for the chain added that it was 'sadly too easy to offend people these days'. .

Well get that. A business actually standing up to an inadequate snowflake demanding they do as they're told. that's a welcome sight. But who will think of the children?

"Imagine if a child picked up a headband with willies all over it and put it on their head

Actual LOL!

Poundland communications adviser Nick Agarwal said: “We know some of the items in our stag and hen party range won’t be to everyone’s taste, however, they sell extremely well and the majority of customers appreciate the tongue-in-cheek humour.

“Sadly it’s hard not offend someone these days, but we appreciate the feedback.”

Unfortunately far too many people in the comments agree with him. (Well, those that can string two coherent words together without going off on a tangent about peados)