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You can't give 'rights' to animals - They don't understand the concept.

A bill of rights for dolphins: They're so smart we must treat them as 'non human persons' say scientists

Single issue groups with too much time on their hands come out with a lot of bollocks, but this takes the cake. I'm even wondering if the article is just a piss take.
Dolphins are so intelligent that they should be thought of as ‘non-human persons’ and given their own bill of rights, it is claimed.
A coalition of scientists, philosophers and animal welfare groups have come up with a declaration of dolphin rights which they hope will one day be enshrined in law.
And what exactly do they expect dolphins to do with these rights? How can you even tell a dolphin that you have selflessly campaigned on it's behalf for it's rights to be established in law and make it understand? You can't, because a dolphin is an animal. It has no intelligence, only instinct. You can train animals to perform tricks but this is not intelligence. On the contrary, a dolphin can be taught to perform tricks at the whim of a human, my cat will only do what it wants and when it wants. Which one is the more intelligent?
Whales would also be elevated above other animals by the list of rules, leading to whalers being classed as murderers, the American Association for the Advancement of Science’s annual conference heard in Vancouver.
Give me strength! Whaling may not be very nice, but to class whalers as murderers does nothing more than water down the meaning of the word murder and make killing human beings to be less important. I sometimes wonder though, that some animal rights activists put the lives of animals above those of humans.
Whale watching trips would be subject to regulations which would respect the creatures’ privacy, and developers and oil companies would have to give huge consideration to the effect their projects would have on the animals’ life and culture.
This actually is a joke isn't it, and I've fallen for it. Whales don't care about privacy and they don't have a culture. Culture is a human word that applies to human activities. The only creatures on planet earth who care about whale privacy are batshit crazy activists.
Given the opportunity, dolphins will watch TV and follow instructions delivered on the screen. Chimps do this only after months of training.
Dolphins can be taught to understand human words, sentences and demands.
Yes, some animals can be taught to do things. That does not make them intelligent and does not entitle them to rights on a par with humans.
They have a form of adult onset diabetes but are able to turn it on and off. Learning how they do this could lead to new treatments for the human form of the condition.
Erm, but what about their right to privacy? Surely this new bill says you can't experiment on them? Doesn't it? (And I have to ask, what kind of an intelligent creature turns diabetes on?)
When brain weight is compared with body weight, the dolphin has the second-largest brain on the planet after humans.
That means nothing. Humans only use 10 percent of their brains. How much do dolphins actually use?
The conference heard that dolphins are self-aware – they can recognise themselves in the mirror.
So can my cat. Recognising yourself in a mirror is not a condition of self awareness. Do these people have any scientific training?
Philosopher Thomas White said: ‘Scientific evidence is now strong enough to support the claim that dolphins are, like humans, self-aware, intelligent beings with emotions and personalities.
Then sir, you are no scientist. Oh, that's right, you are a philosopher. Dolphins are not self aware and they don't have emotions. Those characteristics are only evident in sentient beings, the only ones of which in our know universe are human beings.
'Accordingly, dolphins should be regarded as “non-human persons” and valued as individuals. From an ethical perspective, the injury, deaths and captivity of dolphins are wrong.’
Injury, deaths and the captivity of dolphins may well be wrong. That doesn't mean you have to pretend they are like humans and need a bill of rights they know nothing about or how to take advantage of.

Fair enough, don't be cruel to animals, but let's call a dolphin a dolphin.

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