Saturday (I don't want to blog about politics) night

I don't want to blog about politics tonight because I'm not here. I'm on the way to Belgium with Smoking Hot and the bacci cruisers. Sounds like a fifties rock 'n' Roll group doesn't it.

Top of the Billboard 100 is Smoking Hot and the Bacci Cruisers with, "UKBA stole my cigs on the midnight boat from Belgium" .

I've not been on a boat since I was a little kid. Do you have to strip off and get body scanned before you board or are they a bit more relaxed than the airports?

The last time I went on a boat was the cross Channel ferry to France on a school trip when I was fifteen. The highlight of the trip was crossing the barriers to the bow of the ship where the wind was blowing all the girls tops up. That was the most tits I had seen at that age, a memory I am unlikely to forget to my dying day.

We all stayed in a large hotel on that trip. They took us out to a hypermarket where we were supposed to try our French speaking skills while buying something. Me and my room mate bought a 24 case of alcohol free beers and drank them in our room.

A teacher came round to inspect the rooms at lights out time and ours positively reeked of booze. We tried to explain that it was alcohol free but the teacher wouldn't believe that the stink came from alcohol free beers and we ended up with all the teachers strip searching our room looking for the real booze. They never found any but we were under a lot of scrutiny for the rest of the week.

I tried to arrange a game of strip poker in our room. I whipped round the lads floor and it took me about two minutes to get them all up to our room. Then I went round the girls floor. Most of them were doing their hair and it took about half an hour to convince about ten girls to come and join us. By the time we got to our room, all the lads had buggered off and the girls I brought up thought I was trying to get the whole lot of them in bed. Most of them gave me a good slap before they buggered off too. Most girls I've ever had in my room though.

I used to love school trips, we got up to so much mischief. We went on one to Scarborough and I had to beg my parents to let me go because one of the days out was to visit an airbase and I really wanted to go. When we turned up at the base for the pre-arranged visit, they wouldn't let us in because they had a surprise drill. If that had happened these days it would have been in the Daily Mail.

The teachers improvised and took us to a ruined castle. Air base. Castle. Very disappointed young nippers.

I'll be back on Monday in a very good mood if the UKBA haven't confiscated all our bacci (And Mrs Bucko Hasn't spent all my money)