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If you find your club is loosing money after the smoking ban, here's a way to balance the books. Book a controversial band to do a gig then tip off the papers.

POLICE have met management of a Darwen club after it was announced a controversial Celtic band was to play a gig.

The coppers might not be too impressed though. They like to get involved in every non-crime they can, particularly if they have taken issue with you before.
Late last year, the Highfield Club was temporarily closed after 400 teenagers rank amok in the area when they turned up to a Hallowe’en party uninvited after reading about the event on a social networking site.

400 teenagers? Darwen is only a small town. The power of Facebook eh?

Charlie and the Bhoys - whose repertoire consists of Irish Republican anthems and songs about Celtic FC - is booked in to play at the Highfield Club in Ratcliffe Street on Saturday, February 5.

Well they sound good. Whats a song about Celtic FC? "There's only one (insert footballer name), there's only one......etc...

But the band insist the rumours they are pro-IRA and encourage trouble are false and are being maliciously spread by rival Rangers FC fans.

Maybe it's not such a good idea then. There is a large number of Scottish immigrants in Darwen and most of them love a good rumble.

I don't know why they come to Darwen, it really is a bit of a hole. You would think if you leave your town of birth it would be to go somewhere better. Oh well.

Police said managers at Highfield were in talks with overs over the management of the gig.

Well we know how them talks will go, don't we?

Police: You can't hold the gig.
Club: Oh, but we want to.
Police: You can't hold the gig.
Club: Give us one good reason why not.
Police: We don't have to give a reason, you can't hold the gig.
Club: Bugger!
But Jimmy Grease, vocalist, guitarist and banjo player of the band, said: “We are a Celtic band and there are many Celtic fans living in the Darwen area but the Rangers fans from around the UK always try to have our concerts stopped.

I must admit, I do love a good Celtic band. I also love Irish music, The Pogues in particular and to a lesser extent, the Dubliners.

I don't pay much attention to the lyrics, it's the unique instrumental style of Irish music that gets me. There is one song, covered by The Dubliners that I like, and I'm sure that's a pro-IRA one when you listen to the words:

Twas down by Brannigan's Corner, one morning I did stray
I met a fellow rebel, and to me he did say
"We've orders from the captain to assemble at Drumbar
But how are we to get there, without a motor car?"

"Oh, Barney dear, be of good cheer, I'll tell you what we'll do
The Specials they are plentiful and the I.R.A. are few
We'll send a wire to Johnston to meet us at Stranorlar
And we'll give the boys a bloody good ride in Johnston's Motor Car.

When Doctor Johnston heard the news he soon put on his shoes
He says this is an urgent case, there is no time to lose
He then put on his castor hat and on his breast a star
You could hear the din all through Glenfin of Johnston's motor car.

But when he got to the railway bridge, some rebels he saw there
Old Johnston knew the game was up, for at him they did stare
He said "I have a permit, to travel near and far"
"To hell with your English permit, we want your motor car."

"What will my loyal brethren think, when they hear the news
My car it has been commandeered, by the rebels at Dunluce?"
"We'll give you a receipt for it, all signed by Captain Barr
And when Ireland gets her freedom, you'll get your motor car."

Well we put that car in motion and filled it to the brim
With guns and bayonets shining which made old Johnston grim
And Barney hoisted a Sinn Féin flag, and it fluttered like a star
And we gave three cheers for the I.R.A. and Johnston's Motor Car.

I don't care, it's good music. I might even pop to the Highfield and see this band.

If they can convince the coppers to let it go ahead.

“We have been a full time professional band on the road for 22 years. We have played on every continent in the world and we have never in 22 years had any trouble at any gig or venue.”

3 Comments:

Angry Exile said...

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