The Election........

........and what it meant to the Mooses.

The last time I cast a vote was in 1997 and guess who I voted for. Labour, I'm ashamed to say.

When Labour came to power I was 21 and it was the first general election where I was elligible to vote. My parents had always voted Labour and I had been brought up to beleive that everyone else eats babies. We were never taught politics or economics in school (although they did see fit to teach us Latin) so all I had to go on was family tradition.

Since that fateful year I did begin to take an interest in politics and I endeavoured to learn as much about it as I could. Thats when I gave up voting.

I mean whats the point. You have three shepherds and they each wear a different coloured coat. Every four or five years, the three shepherds open the gates to their pens and let all the sheep out. The sheep then decide if they want to return to the original pen or try another one. The shepherds shut the gates and the one with the most sheep wins. Everything continues as normal. Sounds almost biblical doesn't it.

All this exercise does is give the sheep an illusory sense that they have been given and used a bit of personal power. That way they wont revolt against the shepherds.

Occasionally, one of the sheep wanders off from the pens and doesn't bother voting. All the other sheep try to get them back into the pens by crying, "If you don't vote you cant complain about what happens". Well sure you can. I mean, who is going to make a choice when they don't like any of the options available. If I said to one of the sheep, "I can either hit you with this cricket bat or this baseball bat, it's up to you", what choice do you think they would make. They would all suddenly want the "no bat" option. Well in politics there is no "no bat" option. Whatever you chose, you will be living under someones bat at the end of it, and of course you can complain. You can complain that there was no "pillow" option. Thats why you didn't vote.

However, on the run up to this general election I could see thet the situation seemed to have taken a turn for the worse. Under thirteen years of New Labour, the bat had got a lot bigger and and now there was a nail in it. The party I voted for had turned against people like me. They wanted my money, they wanted my DNA, they wanted to watch my every move and they wanted me to pay for the privalidge of carrying an ID card. They even decided that I could no longer smoke in the pub where I worked. Nor could my boss and it was also his house. That was the last straw. I quit the pub trade after eight years, just before everyone else in my job (relief manager) was made redundant. I managed to get another job because I left early. I then watched fourteen pubs from my ex company shut down and all the staff lose their jobs.

I could no longer just ignore the government and live my life as I had always done. They were actively out to get me. Thats why I voted at this election. I know it sounds a bit lame; a bit like Al Gore telling us we are all gonna die in a global warming catastrophy and then saying we could avert it all be switching to low energy light bulbs. Well I had to do something, I couldn't just ignore it anymore. The only party with a chance of ousting these hideous socialists were of course The Conservatives so it was a no brainer, I was gonna vote for them.

I also convinced Mrs Moose to vote. She has never had any understanding or interest of politics and had no intention of voting. I told her she didn't need to understand it, just pop an X next the the Conservative candidates name. When the time came she asked, "Who are we voting for, The Conservatories?"
I think she got a bit annoyed with my new found interest in politics. I did carp on about it quite a bit and I even downloaded the posters from GrumpyOldTwats blog and put them in the window.

Well its all done now and I feel a lot better. The Conservatories didn't win outright but at least we got what I was hoping for most. No more Labour. I'm gonna say that again because it sounds so good - No More Labour. The signs are good for a return to liberty but its still early days yet. It can't get any worse though, can it?

There is often talk that not enough people go out and vote. Well Labour managed to create two new voters this time. We were happy to be left alone but when Labour made that impossible, we had to get up and vote them out. My parents didn't vote for them either, they voted UKIP.

Now I have the bug, I may start voting more often. It seems that there are one or two "pillow" options springing up. UKIP and The Libertarian Party definately need looking into.....