Did we not see this coming?

Years and years ago, there were some wimmin who were bored of staying at home looking after the kids and making sammiches. These wimmin got together and decided life would be much better if they could go out and get jobs

The patriarchy were none too pleased about this. Who would stay at home looking after the kids and making the sammiches? The wimmin however, called the patriarchy, chauvinistic pigs for not wanting to let them go out and get jobs. 

Wimmin can do jobs just as well as the patriarchy, said the wimmin, so you have to let us do it. We deserve equality

The patriarchy could not fault the logic of the wimmin who just wanted to prove they were equal to men, so they allowed the wimmin to stop looking after the kids and making the sammiches, and go out and get jobs of their own

So all the wimmin went out and got jobs. Some of them in sammich shops, making sammiches for other people, and others in day care centres looking after other peoples kids

And they all lived happily ever after

Well, not quite

You see, there was a number of flaws in the wimmins grand plan, that went a little something like this:

 

The wimmin still wanted to have babies. In order to have babies, they have to have very long absences from work, so they demanded continuous pay while they were off. All in the name of equality

When they got back to work, they still needed someone to look after their sprogs, so they had to put them in child care, which is expensive, so they demand subsidised or free childcare. All in the name of equality

Childcare and school do not often follow the same working hours as jobs, and sprogs regularly bump their heads or honk up all over the carpet, so the wimmin need to leave work at the drop of a hat to go and deal with the 'emergency'. And they still need to be paid. All in the name of equality

They need flexible hours, in order to drive the sprog to school in the Range Rover, then go pick him up again after he calls Smelly Sally Fart Pants a fat cow and punches her in the face

And after all that time off to whelp enough brats for a football team, after all the 'emergency' head knocks and honks, and after the flexible working hours when they actually do make it in, the wimmin found they were not earning as much money as the men

This, they decided, was definately not equality. The patriarchy had imposed a glass ceiling, to stop the wimmin earning as much money as them. Not only were the wimmin earning less, but the glass ceiling was also preventing them from getting the really good jobs. You know, the ones where they can go to work in a nice pant suit, sit in a boardroom all day, boss people about and eat their sammiches on a working lunch where they discuss the latest episode of Sex and the City

The wimmin demanded equal pay. Not like for like, equaly pay, where if you do the same job, have the same experience and have served the same time, you earn the same money. They wanted the average wimmins salary to be the same as the average patriarchy salary. Which would mean that for many jobs, particularly those at entry level (Sammich making and childcare), the wimmin would have to be paid more than the patriarchy

They would also have to be promoted above their abilities into the really good jobs. And just to be sure, there would have to be quotas for the number of wimmin working in the really good jobs (Not the crappy jobs though, the men are welcome to those)

And once the wimmin have all these things, and only then, can we be a truly equal workforce

Oh sorry, I forgot just one thing

Spain has recently granted menstrual leave—and it's about time. When will other countries get on board? 

Menstrual leave?

Women mensturate once a month, for a few days at a time. The wimmin want a holiday every month? Presumably a paid holiday every month

And the reasoning for this is just the kind of pure nonsense we've come to expect from the type of people who campaign for this bollocks

Studies have found that workplaces’ ignoring the impact of periods on an employee affects productivity considerably, as well. Research shows that people who menstruate tend to work through their period pain, and it makes them less productive. For example, a 2019 Dutch survey of 32,748 women found that this presenteeism during painful, exhausting, or heavy periods accounted for nine days of lost productivity per person, per year. 

People going into work while mensturating, results in the loss of nine days productivity per year? The worst of a period tends to last two days (According to the NHS. How the hell would I know?). How many days of prodcutivity would be lost, if women were allowed to go home for two days out of every month? I believe that 24 is a larger number of days than 9

It's been said (And I took the piss here), that if men suffered from periods, they would have come up with a way to stop it by now. Well it looks like men will have to come up with this miracle cure sooner rather than later, if these campaigners get their way. Otherwise, busines is going to suffer

 

And stopping there is unlikely

And while we’re making (reasonable!) demands, let’s get free period products too.

And free razors for the men? You're 'earning' a wage now. Buy you own bloody period products!

 

For me there are only two options

You wanted the job, get it done

You can have you maternity leave, your flexible hours, your leeway and your mensturation leave, but your wage is going to be significantly lower to cover it all

But knowing Governments, eventually the wimmin will get their menstural leave. All in the name of equality