*Puts on tinfoil hat*
Remember the riots, when all those poor, underprivileged kids went out on the rampage to take what was owed to them by the greedy businesses, bless 'em?
Remember how they were coordinating their efforts via messages on the Blackberry network? (Using expensive mobile phones that they bought with money they didn't have because life never gave them any chances)
Well at the time, our glorious leader David Cameron (May he ascend to Godhood on a golden chariot) made plans to have the Blackberry network switched off in times of trouble, not having a clue about how modern technology works or what civil liberties means because he studied politics at the Fabian school of knee jerk fuckwittery.
Channel 4 reported at the time that the Blackberry network may be switched off to prevent rioters organising themselves, although they couldn't point to a specific request from the home office and presumably couldn't point to a reason why the police didn't take the more obvious step of preventing their organisation by stepping in and baton charging the feral little scroats.
Shortly after, our glorious leader David Cameron (May he rise to the heavens on a jewel encrusted mule) went on to outline his ideas for shutting down social media, including Blackberry on the whim of the party (All hail the party), if there was ever a bit of bother.
His idea was very quickly poo pooed by other, more intelligent people who knew that shutting down Twitter and Blackberry would
1) Not work
2) Be unlikely to succeed
3) Be a pretty all round bad idea
There was also a bit of a shitstorm from the serfs who like to use social media for purely legal reasons and thought regular interruptions while the state quelled the next chavvy tantrum would be a bit pants.
I'm sure our benevolent overseer did not like to have his plans screwed into a tiny ball and thrown in such a haphazard manner that it missed the closest waste paper basket. Dictators never do. Neither do dicks (Or Taters)
So he bided his time for a while:
 |
| I'll bide my time |
Then, when all the hubbub has died down (and most of the rioters are out of prison(those that went)) all hell breaks loose on the Blackberry network.
First it was Europe, the Middle East and Africa who saw services disrupted.
The initial blackout saw Blackberry services across Europe, the Middle East and Africa disrupted.
See. And now it's spreading even further afield
The problems now seem to have spread to Latin America as well.And where do all these problems stem from?
The cause is believed to be due to server problems at RIM's Slough data centre.
Could it be that our ruler of all he sees, Yurtle the Cameroid has set his minions in MI5 the task of bringing Blackberry to it's knees?
Or could this just be the ramblings of a delusional mind on a particularly stiff sugar rush?
*Removes tinfoil hat and goes to bed with a good book*
6 Comments:
My CrackBerry has been almost totally useless for the past two days and they still haven't sorted it out.
It did make me wonder though. With all the comments of 'I'm going over to iPhone' the first thought in my head was - when you're all on the same network it's even easier to shut you all down.
And what's to stop the chavs using straight text messaging on any network anyway? Even Bluetooth if they're close enough.
Hell, they'll communicate with baked bean tins and string if any of them can remember how.
All that can be achieved with shutting down these networks is to force the use of communications networks that are too low-tech to be monitored.
Oh, and of course, to bugger up everyone else's day.
Even worldwide, what government wouldn't want the chance to be able to do just that?
I don't have a blackberry, just an old phone like Leg-Iron so they can't touch me.
Leg-Iron - Yep, one network would make it so much easier. There's always a way though. Modern technology has far ourgrown the governments ability to defend against it, or even use it effectively
Sue - They would all jump at it
Henry - Where did they get the money for those from?
I love reminding people just who pays for the now ubiquitous GPS/SatNav system. Uncle Sam, that's who. With the ever more fragile finances on that side of the pond, don't assume that a complete shut-down would never occur!
And how many users are aware that the UK MOD carries out regular GPS jamming trials?
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