Apparently Nintendo shares are dropping in value. They would have us believe it's down to the high value of the yen. Now I don't doubt big yen can cause problems but I don't think its causing their problems.
I don't have a Nintendo myself but I've seen the adverts. It's not so much the WII. I mean that's quite a good novelty item but when you create a novelty that makes you stand up to use it, the novelty is probably going to wear off pretty quickly.
The problem has to be the Nintendo DS. How lame is that. Could you create a games console any lamer? It has to be the lamest thing since Lamey McLamerson brought out the Lamersole.
It's all down to the lame advertising of a lame product. What is it with that tap tap music game?
Tap Tap Tap. Tap Tap Tap. Yawn Yawn Yawn. Brains all over the back wall.
How about the middle class granny telling us it brings all the family together? If I was part of her family I would rather go out and chicken run over the neighbour cars.
Or the token black family where the dad says he always wins at Mario then confesses off camera that he's actually less use than a Good Year Blimp rescuing Chilean miners.
Why do they try and advertise a games console by saying, "Look how lame this is. Could it be any lamer?",
Why bring back Mario anyway? It's like launching the PlayStation 4 and saying it comes with a really cool version of Jet Set Willy. We all liked Jet Set Willy and Manic (Chilean) Miner when we had Spectrums, but compared to Resident Evil 4, It's fucking pants (by the way, I've got all the secret weapons now).
Even the WII isn't all that good. Sports resort is all right when your parents invite you round to try the new fitness gym and you realise it's actually a WII with some stupid bathmat attached to it that they've bought.
But try playing Medal of Honour on it and you wreck you (their) fucking living room. And you give it up pretty soon because computer games are supposed to be played on the comfort of your own couch.
No wonder their shares aren't worth shit anymore. If you're looking for a games console, get yourself a PlayStation 2 of ebay. They're going for bout two pounds fifty.
And if you mum buys you a DS light for Christmas, shove it up her arse. That's the best Mr Mario will ever get.
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